OoH – The Combine Interviews

Written by Rhys

The annual NFL combine is not just a chance for the stars of college football to showcase their physical talents. For many of the league’s evaluators, the chance to sit face-to-face with potential picks is essential. It’s believed that some teams place more importance on what information is gleaned through this process than any of the individual physical drills.

Each season, the representatives of NFL teams try to figure out new and inventive ways of getting to know the players before them as men as well as athletes. Some of the tactic used can verge on the bizarre. The following article contains some of the best from this year’s class.

Jahmeek Anthony – CB, Notre Dame

The reigning Heismann Trophy winner was candid when speaking to our reporter about one interview in particular. He recalled “So I enter the room and there’s just the GM sitting there, behind a long row of savoury pies. He invited me to sit and then proceeded to put each one in a bread roll, and I essentially had to rate the dishes worst to first. To be honest I don’t normally eat that kind of food, but thought I did quite well… until Aaron Rodgers was traded away the next day”

Floyd Lake – DT, USC

Regarded as one of the premier defensive lineman in the upcoming draft, Floyd Lake was issued with a startling challenge from one of the league’s most shrewd General Managers. “I have to say my meeting with the Falcons was really pleasant, at first. Their GM was a swell guy, knew where he wanted the team to go” Lake continued, “When he asked me if I wanted to play in Atlanta, I couldn’t have been happier. But then it all changed. He then said ‘How about Miami?’ and for a second I didn’t know what to say. He turned around in his chair like Don Corleone and said, and this is real, he said ‘One day, and that day may never come, I’m going to ask you for a favour, and when that time comes, I expect you to be a big piece in a trade deal to prize Matt Haack from the Dolphins!’”

Tyrone Billups – SS, Penn State

We think it’s best to let Tyrone tell this story for himself! “Man, when I met the Bills GM that was wild! I sat down, he didn’t ask me any questions, but he just waited for me to make a statement, any statement. Thenhe’d come to life, and find a way to disagree on everything. He had all these graphs prepared, like he knew what I was going to say in advance. Occasionally, he’d call up the Steelers a few rooms down just to tell their GM that it wasn’t about him. Do I think I impressed them? I have no idea. He did uncover a few worthwhile Instagram accounts to follow, though”.

Michael Godwin – C, Michigan

Michigan’s imposing center Michael Godwin thought he was in the wrong interview when he met the Eagles. “So before I get in the door I know this is not a normal interview. I can hear Dark Side of the Moon playing from the other side of the door, before quickly being turned off and someone yelling ‘Nope, still fackingpish’. I walk in and all seems much more normal than I expected after that. About 20 minutes in I can hear a buzzing in the room. A wasp had flown in from the window behind the GM. He turned to me and asked ‘Can ye tell this wasp tae get tae fuck?’ and to be honest I’m still not sure if he wanted me to kill it or start a breeding program’”.

Courtney Hayden – WR, Arizona State

Hayden was requested for interview by the Chiefs GM, and doesn’t believe he has yet recovered. “So I’d heard some stories about this guy. I mean, he traded away Kelce, Mahomes, loads others. He’s a maverick, and to be honest I heard that his coach just has the QB throw to Tyreek Hill, anyway. I walk in and the guy is clearly drunk, and he has an actual beer pump next to him that was re-filling his glass with some kind of IPA. Six hours later, we’re downtown and he’s on the karaoke singing about trees. The next morning I woke up and found out he’d been on my Spotify account, and made a playlist of unlistenable trash by this guy named Captain Beefheart.”

Eli DeLoach – DL, Oregon

Highly touted draft prospect Eli DeLoach told reporters about his shortest Combine interview. “So I sit down with the Lions, and he asks me just two questions. Firstly, how do I work through diagnosing a triple option play, and secondly, if I have a number for the Rams GM.”

Jesse McCloud – QB, Kansas State

“Had a very intense meet with the Raiders today. Their GM said there’s a good side and a bad side to being a Raider. I appreciated that he was going to be honest with me. He said ‘Look, the first thing you have to know about being a Raider is that you’ll never get injured in practice, because my guys can’t tackle for shit. The second thing is, though, you have to be able to look death in the face and play through it here. I almost got killed today picking up milk. You have to be always ready’. I was kinda worried about the guy. Hope he got home ok”.

Blake Locklear – QB, Boston College

Based on what Blake Locklear has told us, the love/hate relationship between the Bills and Steelers is alive and well. “I have to say, I was pretty excited about sitting down with a franchise as storied as Pittsburgh Steelers. Their GM seemed a bit distracted, though, maybe that was to put me off, I don’t know. It looked like he was marking exam papers. He kept getting these phone calls, and he’d answer and be mostly silent. Occasionally he would mutter something down the line like ‘bitey. bitey’ and hang up. After about half an hour of very friendly conversation, he asked me to walk his dog. Interesting guy”.